MakingConnections4Health
  • Home
  • About
    • Experience
    • Media coverage
    • Testimonials
  • What Is Mental Health First Aid?
    • Mental Health First Aid - Virtual
    • Mental Health First Aid - In Person
    • What People Are Saying & Why It's Important >
      • Additional MHFA related resources
  • Upcoming Events
    • Past Presentations >
      • The Power of Connection
      • Finding Balance in Today's Frantic Culture
      • 5th Annual Muskoka Early Years Workshop Series: Anxiety in Children
      • Building Resiliency in our Youth
      • Association of Iroquois & Allied Indians
      • Strengthening Families For The Future
    • Other Recent Presentations
  • Contact
  • Blog

How Real Empathy Never Begins With        "At Least..."

1/13/2021

0 Comments

 
Picture
This is the title of a just published article by the Mental Health Commission of Canada.  This article really resonated for me so instead of writing my own blog, I thought I would provide you with some of the highlights.  Here goes!
  • Knowing how to support our friends and family well, particularly at a distance takes practice.
  • Empathy never begins with “At Least….”  Many of us have an unconscious habit of trying to find a silver lining.  We don’t realize how unhelpful it is to say, ‘At least you have your health’ or ‘At least you have a home’ to someone who’s in a dark place. Doing that not only diminishes their feelings, it also layers them with guilt.
  • It is not your job to fix it.  That robs them of the confidence that comes with finding their own solutions.
  • Your role as someone with a listening ear is to meet them where they are, validate their feelings, and be present as they tell you what they are or aren’t ready to do.  It takes humility to understand that you can walk alongside someone on their journey without leading the way.
  • It can be so tempting to say, ‘I’ve been there,’ or, ‘I know how you feel,’ This intention to connect and reaffirm the shared human experience is good. But by turning the spotlight on ourselves, we’re inadvertently diminishing the pain being disclosed to us in that moment. So instead, just say, ‘That must be so hard’ or, ‘I can see why that’s devastating.
  • There’s a second reason for not reflecting your own experience back to them: doing so implies that you’ve got the same resources, the same tools, the same trajectory. And that may not be the case.
  • The goal with active listening, whether you’re on the phone with your grandma or texting with your nephew, is to hold up a mirror so they can see their situation more clearly.
  • Yes, you’re validating feelings. Yes, you’re creating a safe space free from judgment. But you’re reminding people of their own problem-solving skills. You’re reaffirming their resourcefulness and, maybe above all, you’re letting them see their own worth. That doesn’t feel like a passive activity.
  • When acting as supports for others, we can’t neglect our own health and wellness, and it’s important to not only listen to others, but also to ourselves.
 
I hope you have found these tips helpful.  Listening Non-Judgmentally is one of the six action steps of Mental Health First Aid.  Why not join one of my many Virtual Course offerings to learn more.  Hope to see you soon!
​

Read the Full Article Here
0 Comments

A New Kind of First Aid – Helping People who experience mental health problems or crisis

10/7/2016

3 Comments

 
 As I was running some errands one day, in the town where I live, I was driving around the side of the grocery store in my van.  I saw a young man crossing the parking lot and walking toward the entrance.  By now I was driving beside him and to my surprise, he starting yelling and cursing at me, screaming at the top of his lungs, “Were you going to %$#@%$ hit me?” 

I didn’t know what to do.  In an instant, I could feel the anger and resentment boil up inside me.  “I wasn’t going to hit him!  I saw him!”   I thought about rolling down my window and yelling back.  Should I honk my horn at him or just drive away mad?  For a moment, I couldn’t think. Then I decided to take a deep breath and try a different approach.
I rolled down my window, gave the young man the most empathetic, apologetic look that I could muster and I said “I am so, so sorry.  That must have been so frightening for you.  I did see you and I didn’t mean to scare you.  Are you ok?”

Instantly, his body language changed.  First he looked completely shocked, his jaw dropped and he stood motionless.  Then he softened and said “Oh my gosh no, I am so sorry.  I am so sorry for screaming at you……. It’s just that I’ve been hit by a car before and….  I am so sorry.”

As he continued to explain I quickly realized that he may have been experiencing some post-traumatic stress due to his accident. We bantered apologies back and forth for a few minutes and then both smiled and wished one another a good day. 

I share this story every time I teach Mental Health First Aid Certification.  I remind people that mental health problems affect one in three Canadians, so we are likely interacting with people who are struggling every day.  This story illustrates a few of the concepts that participants learn in the course.  Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) is a powerful act of compassion – caring about others’ pain and using presence and connection can have a profound impact.  Mental Health First Aid, like Physical First Aid training is not rocket science.  The skills are easy for anyone to learn…and just like physical first aid…it can save lives. 

I teach participants to recognize signs and symptoms of mental illness in four areas: mood disorders, anxiety, addiction and substance abuse and psychotic illness.  Unlike blocked arteries or broken bones, mental illness is shrouded in stigma.  People are reluctant to talk about it and, when confronted with someone in crisis, few know what to do. MHFA allows people to be confident to have that conversation.   You don’t have to be a passive bystander, struggling for words or paralyzed by ignorance. By learning some simple skills, you can become a mental health first responder.

Mental Health First Aid, governed by the Mental Health Commission of Canada, is an evidence based, interactive, 12- hour course for ANYONE and no previous mental health experience is necessary.  It can benefit teachers, health care professionals, emergency service workers, human resource professionals, employers, managers and supervisors, parents, community groups and the public.

In fact, over 200,000 people in Canada have been certified since 2011.  The course is now taught in 23 countries around the world.  Not only is MHFA catching on and gaining momentum nationally and globally, it’s catching on right here in our own backyard.  Since January 2014, I have provided almost 50 training sessions and certified over 800 participants.  Most of these events have taken place right here in Muskoka.  Here’s what fellow Muskokan’s are saying about the course:

“WOW – incredible.  By far the most valuable course I have taken in my lifetime.  I am so grateful for the opportunity to have experienced this.”

“Truly inspiring and worth all the time.  Thank you!  Great work!”

“I feel much more able and confident to respond to mental health issues that may arise at school or within the community.”

Just as a first aid kit doesn’t replace doctors and hospitals; MHFA isn’t a substitute for professional mental health care.  While physical first aid provides training on strains, fractures and bleeding, mental health focusses on things like panic attacks, psychotic episodes and acute stress reactions.

Today, in Canada, mental illness is the leading cause of disability.  The disease burden of mental illness is 1.5 times that of all cancers combined.  Mental illness can cut a person’s life expectancy by 10-20 years.   Tragically, we lose 11 people every day in Canada due to suicide.  We lose our children, our friends, our brothers and sisters, our neighbors and our colleagues.  The economic burden of mental illness in Canada is estimated to be 51 billion dollars every year. We can no longer afford to just idly stand by.

I believe Mental Health First Aid can make a difference.  I believe that if we were all trained we could turn the tides together.  As humans, we are built to fear that which we do not understand.  Fear leads to avoidance.  Avoidance leads to stigma.  People fear those with mental illness and addiction because as a society we do not have a good understanding of them.  Mental Health First Aid provides an understanding….and the skills - so that we can BE understanding.  Human connection reduces fear…and that’s why MHFA works!
What are you waiting for? Join us and become certified!

Upcoming Courses in Muskoka:


3 Comments

Protecting Children from Toxic Stress

3/10/2014

0 Comments

 
Recently, I read an article in the New York Times by author and journalist “David Bornstein, entitled “Protecting Children from Toxic Stress.”   

“Imagine if scientists discovered a toxic substance that increased the risks of cancer, diabetes and heart, lung and liver disease for millions of people.  Something that also increased one’s risks for smoking, drug abuse, suicide, teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted disease, domestic violence and depression – and simultaneously reduced the chances of succeeding in school, performing well on a job and maintaining stable relationships?  We would do everything in our power to contain it and keep it far away from our children right?”

The author goes on to discuss that there is such a thing and it’s called “toxic stress”.  Researchers are now showing us that it is the chronic nature of stress that causes consequences to accumulate over time and contribute to illness such as diabetes, cardiovascular disease, cancer, mental illness and addiction.  In children, the effects of toxic stress can be much worse.  Exposure to toxic stress weakens the part of the child’s brain that deals with learning, reasoning and emotions. Toxic stress stunts the healthy development of the brain and is strongly associated with lifelong health and social problems.

Stress response or the “fight or flight” response evolved in humans over hundreds of thousands of years and is basically a response intended to give us the short burst of energy we needed to save our lives from a threat such as a sabre tooth tiger. Once we have killed or fled from the tiger and the threat is gone we return to a calm physical state. However, when stress becomes chronic, it also becomes toxic.

Toxic stress response can occur when a child experiences strong, frequent, and/or prolonged adversity.  Such adversity can include physical or emotional abuse, chronic neglect, parental substance abuse or mental illness or exposure to violence.  Toxic stress can also be experienced by the accumulated burdens of family economic hardship—poverty, excessive academic and/or athletic demands, punitive, harsh discipline practices, parental separation or divorce.  Studies show that youth today are suffering from rising levels of stress, anxiety, depression and even suicide.

It’s important if we can, to reduce the circumstances which cause toxic stress.  While prevention of toxic stress is best, it can be very difficult to change the environments that produce major stress for families, such as poverty.   We now know however, that a powerful mitigating factor is connectedness, nurturing and support.  Research shows that, even under stressful conditions, supportive, responsive relationships with caring adults as early in life as possible can prevent or reverse the damaging effects of toxic stress response. (Centre for Developing Child, Harvard University)   While adverse circumstances can elevate the body’s stress response, social emotional supports by caring adults such as parents, caregivers and teachers have a powerful effect to return the stress system back to normal.

Why does something as simple as social emotional support and connection reduce toxic stress?  The answer is surprisingly simple.  When a baby is born, do they experience stress?  Yes.   When they are hungry, tired or uncomfortable, they experience stress and cry.  A baby is born with the capacity to experience stress but does not yet have the capacity or the brain development to “self-regulate” that stress.  In other words, they are not able to calm themselves –adults do it for them.  Every time an infant cries we pick them up, soothe, cuddle and rock them and assist them to return the stress system back to normal. In a child’s first months and years, this ritual takes place often many times a day and perhaps thousands of times over the first five years of life.  This creates a very firmly established brain connection that says “If I feel stress, the presence of a nurturing, human caring relationship is going to help me relieve that stress.”

According to Darcy Lowell, an associate clinical professor at Yale University School of Medicine, “Children can be shielded from the most damaging effects of stress if their parents are taught how to respond appropriately.  One thing that is highly protective is the quality of the relationship between the parent and child. “ 

The Muskoka Strengthening Families program capitalizes on that protective factor.  Strengthening families is a unique family program where parents and their children work together to strengthen the quality of their relationships.  Parenting can be extremely rewarding but also can very difficult and most parents would admit that some extra support and assistance is a welcomed opportunity.

Strengthening Families is an evidence based program that was originally developed in the United States.  The Canadian program began implementation in the year 2000.  Muskoka was one of the first sites to implement the program in Ontario and is believed to be the longest ongoing program in Canada 13 years later.

Muskoka Strengthening Families program is a hidden gem.  Our community has enjoyed 13 years of growing success as our partnership strengthens and we continue to grow and learn.

Ten reasons why Strengthening Families works!

  1. Strengthens parenting and nurturing family relationships through PRACTICE – Not only do we provide information about parenting –BUT more importantly we build capacity by practicing skills together with children during the family session.
  2. Parents and children practice strategies and skills that are effective and also reduce toxic stress.  For example, families practice communication skills, anger management and collaborative problem solving which lowers toxic stress and can be used in place of strategies that can elevate stress such as yelling or using punitive measures.
  3. Build family connectedness by reading a story together and sharing a meal together each week and modeling the importance of shared time together.  Research has shown that families who dine together experience less youth substance use.
  4.  Reduce stressors  by providing concrete support – Within this free program we provide childcare,  transportation, a healthy low cost meal ( including a recipe book to make the meals at home) and  incentives which  include further supports to reduce stressors such as a fresh food basket, gift cards for gasoline, pharmacy and food.
  5. Link families to services and opportunities – We link families to community programs by providing information and inviting in guest visitors from Community services, Muskoka children’s foundation, YWCA, Public Health, etc.  By linking families to services and resources when they need them can help reduce toxic stress in the home.
  6. Facilitate friendships and mutual support – by building connectedness among participants AND with service providers.  Encouragement is not only provided at the weekly sessions but also throughout the week with phone calls and text messaging.
  7. Parents and kids learn about coping strategies.  Families learn about the harms of using substance use as a coping strategy and the importance of practicing healthy coping strategies to reduce stress.  We introduce opportunities to experience strategies such as mindfulness and drumming.
  8. Participants discover the value and importance of the family unit and feeling a sense of belonging.  We introduce concepts such as the child’s game, teen time and family meetings as a way to honor the family, time spent together and a sense of belonging.  Even simple ideas such taking family photos and providing a collage for families to take home.
  9. Despite the cost and time commitment involved, a collaborative of local community agencies and staff work tirelessly and with extraordinary dedication to ensure the growth and sustainability of this local program.
  10.  Strengthening Families is a program that all families can benefit from.  All families have strengths that can be built upon and opportunities to reduce risk factors and toxic stress.   We believe that as individuals, families and communities - we are all responsible for better outcomes for our children, youth and families.
0 Comments
    Picture

    Author

    Suzanne Witt-Foley
    MakingConnections4Health

    Archives

    January 2021
    October 2016
    March 2014

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • About
    • Experience
    • Media coverage
    • Testimonials
  • What Is Mental Health First Aid?
    • Mental Health First Aid - Virtual
    • Mental Health First Aid - In Person
    • What People Are Saying & Why It's Important >
      • Additional MHFA related resources
  • Upcoming Events
    • Past Presentations >
      • The Power of Connection
      • Finding Balance in Today's Frantic Culture
      • 5th Annual Muskoka Early Years Workshop Series: Anxiety in Children
      • Building Resiliency in our Youth
      • Association of Iroquois & Allied Indians
      • Strengthening Families For The Future
    • Other Recent Presentations
  • Contact
  • Blog